Christian Leadership Development Through Communication Competence

CHRISTIAN LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT THROUGH COMMUNICATION COMPETENCE

Part of the LifeandLeadership.com ministry resources on Christian Leadership.

Leadership development is a universally recognized necessity for all leadership styles and approaches, especially with transformational leadership and empowerment. Ministry resources convey the theme that leaders must develop in at least two ways. First, and most important, is their walk with God through the experiences of life. This concentrates not so much on the “doing” as the “being” of the leader. It stresses the importance of an authentic walk with God and genuine spirituality which manifests itself through an increasingly Christ-like character, and consistently high standards of ethical and moral conduct. The second area of leadership development covers the skill sets necessary for leadership competence, encompassing both relational and task dimensions.

Leadership Development Through Communication Competence

One of the most important skills of leadership generally is the ability to relate to others authentically and meaningfully. This is upheld in virtually all theories of leadership. It is especially important when dealing with conflict and difficult people and difficult conversations. Most church members will respond best to leaders who have good “people skills.” Conversely, the main reason for dissatisfaction and even involuntary termination is “interpersonal incompetence.” The following guides are targeted specifically at helping leaders develop relational intelligence. Remember to see the list at the bottom for resource suggestions in related areas.

Perspectives:

Mary K. Sellon and Daniel P. Smith, Practicing Right Relationship: Skills for Deepening Purpose, Finding Fulfillment, and Increasing Effectiveness in Your Congregation — A guidebook for pastoral relational competence that builds on Daniel Goleman’s (Emotional Intelligence) four basic skill areas for developing good relationships: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relational management.
Emma J. Justes, Hearing Beyond the Words: How to Become a Listening Pastor – Turns to the biblical image of hospitality for a theological grounding of the practice of listening. From this theology, she derives The Four Core Qualities of Hospitality: vulnerability, humility, availability, and mutuality.
John Maxwell, Winning With People: Discover the People Principles that Work for You Every Time — An excellent discussion of twenty-five principle of effective interpersonal relationships. See also the companion volume Maxwell co-authored with Les Parrott, 25 Ways to Win With People.
John Maxwell, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently – Describes how to get one’s message across through ten practices of connecting.
Harrison Monarth, Executive Presence: The Art of Commanding Respect Like a CEO – Equips leaders to “present the best version of themselves,” or behave publicly in a way that commands respect and gains and maintains trust. Highlights social intelligence, reading people, managing interpersonal conflict, etc. Written with business executives in mind, but still packs a lot of wisdom for church leaders. A similar volume by Monarth is 360 Degrees of Influence.
Steve Saccone, Relational Intelligence: How Leaders Can Expand Their Influence Through a New Way of Being Smart (Jossey-Bass Leadership Network Series) – Not so much a book on skills-building, but on explaining the importance of relational intelligence (RI) as a leadership currency in the “human economy,” and as the title suggests, how it helps church leaders “expand their influence.” Discusses six roles/skills of leaders who have RI.
See also the Ministry Resource Guide on Pastoral Care

Skills Building:

Ben Benjamin, Conversation Transformation: Recognize and Overcome the 6 Most Destructive Communication Patterns – Gives comprehensive, practical guidelines for managing the six most common (and aggravating) conversation killers: yes-buts, mind-reads, negative predictions, leading questions, complaining, and verbal attacks.
Blake Neff, A Pastor’s Guide to Interpersonal Communication: The Other Six Days (Haworth Series in Chaplaincy) – Perhaps the best introduction of standard and advanced level communication skills for those in spiritual leadership positions.
James C. Petersen, D.Min., L.P.C. Why Don’t We Listen Better?: Communicating and Connecting in Relationships — Focuses on the capacity to listen more effectively in everyday encounters, and then respond from a posture where our brains are fully engaged and our emotions channeled so as to enhance one’s relationships. Substantive, deeply reflective of best practices, and very well written.
John Savage, Listening and Caring Skills for Ministry — The basis of Dr. Savage’s program, Listening Laboratory I. It describes eleven deep-structure listening skills that have been found very effective in conveying a caring presence and helping others come to terms with their current life issues.
Mark Goulston, M. D., Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone. Amacom, 2009 – An excellent practical guide to using listening skills in difficult situations, drawn from the experience and research of a psychiatrist. Not ministry-specific, but still quite applicable.
See also the Ministry Resource Guide on Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations

**Resources listed in recommended order, unless alphabetical

This is one of several Pathways to Leadership Development that are featured on LifeandLeadership.com:

See also the Leadership Index and the overall Ministry Resource Index for annotated guides on over 100 related issues. LifeandLeadership.com will expand significantly on this resource list within the section on Spiritual Formation which is in development.