Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, David Maxfield, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler, Influencer: The Power to Change Anything. McGraw-Hill, 2007. Referenced in: Leading in Subordinate Roles Leading Change and Transition LifeandLeadership.com Summary This is a popular text on how to motivate others to change. It is not a step-by-step process, but still contains good wisdom for
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. 10th Anniversary Edition. Penguin (Non-Classics), 2010. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary We all have difficult conversations, no matter how confident or competent we are. And too often, no matter what we try, things
Mark Goulston, M. D., Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone. Amacom, 2009 Referenced in: Leadership Development Through Communication Competence Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary This is a fascinating look at the dynamics of difficult conversations. While not written with church leadership in mind, it translates well into ministry
Phyllis Beck Kritek, Negotiating at an Uneven Table: Developing Moral Courage in Resolving Our Conflicts, Second Edition. Jossey-Bass, 2002. Referenced in: Criticism, Difficult People and Conversations Leading in Subordinate Roles Ministry Staff and Leadership Teams LifeandLeadership.com Summary Written out the context of training nurses to deal with physicians and health care management, this book explores
Katherine Crowley and Kathie Elster, Working for You Isn’t Working for Me: The Ultimate Guide for Managing Your Boss. Portfolio Trade, 2010. Referenced in: Criticism, Difficult People and Conversations Leading in Subordinate Roles Ministry Staff and Leadership Teams LifeandLeadership.com Summary Not all church leaders will find themselves in the difficult relationships typical of the private
Ruth N. Koch and Kenneth C. Haugk, Speaking the Truth in Love: How to be an Assertive Christian. Stephen Ministries, 1992. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary I have used this in classes as an excellent base-leve “how-to” guide on assertion. The authors define the difference between passive, aggressive,
Randy J. Paterson, Ph.D., The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships. New Harbinger Publications, 2000. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Relationships LifeandLeadership.com Summary This is an excellent workbook. It is just that, a workbook, and not something one should simply
Henry Cloud and John Townsend, How to Have That Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding: With Your Spouse, Adult Child, Boss, Coworker, Best Friend, Parent, or Someone You’re Dating. Zondervan, 2005. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary From the authors of the million-copy bestseller, Boundaries. This is a very sensitive,
David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Hear and Be Heard. Regal Books, 1980. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary Approaches the task of difficult conversations from the standpoint of both listening and speaking. Augsburger suggests six stages of such conversations: Listening: “Tell me again, I want to hear you,” Attending:
David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Confront: How to Understand and Express Your Deepest Feelings Toward Others. Regal Books, 1982. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary Augsburger coins the phrase “care-fronting” to help believers deal truthfully with one another through valuing both principle and relationship, owning anger, inviting change, giving
