Les Parrott, High-Maintenance Relationships: How to Handle Impossible People. Tyndale House Publishers, 1997.
Reference in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations
LifeandLeadership.com Summary
This volume is part of the library of the American Association of Christian Counselors. Parrot discusses fifteen different difficult personalities that are often found in churches. These include:
- The Critic – constantly complains and gives unwanted advice
- The Martyr – forever the victim and wracked with self-pity
- The Wet Blanket – pessimistic and automatically negative
- The Steamroller – blindly insensitive to others
- The Gossip – spreads rumors and leaks secrets
- The Control Freak – unable to let go and let be
- The Back-Stabber – irrepressibly two-faced
- The Cold Shoulder – disengages and avoids contact
- The Green-Eyed Monster – seethes with envy
- The Volcano – builds steam and is ready to erupt
- The Sponge – constantly in need but gives nothing back
- The Competitor – keeps track of tit for tat
- The Workhorse – always pushes and is never satisfied
- The Flirt – imparts innuendos which may border on harassment
- The Chameleon – eager to please and avoids conflict
Parrott’s advice may seem simplistic and overly-optimistic at times, but there is considerable practical wisdom in this book to merit its place in the minister’s library.
From the Publisher
How do I handle a friend who saps my energy? When do I love without limit? We’ve all asked these questions. And too often our responses are either to back out of relationships or to give up on impossible people. Dr. Les Parrott shows us other options, including setting boundaries, giving the gift of grace, and leaving room for God.
About the Author
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are co-directors of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University, a ground-breaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of a good relationship. Les Parrott is a professor of clinical psychology and Leslie is a marriage and family therapist, both at SPU. The Parrotts are authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Becoming Soul Mates, The Marriage Mentor Manual, Mentoring Engaged and Newlywed Couples, Questions Couples Ask, Like a Kiss on the Lips and Getting Ready for the Wedding. They are frequent guest speakers and have written for a variety of magazines. Their relationship work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times as well as on CNN, The Today Show, and Oprah.
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