Scott Edelstein, Sex and the Spiritual Teacher: Why It Happens, When It’s a Problem, and What We All Can Do. Wisdom Publications, 2011.
Referenced in: Church Conflict – Congregational Trauma, Ministerial Misconduct
LifeandLeadership.com Summary
This book is not limited to Christian congregations and includes Buddhist, Jewish and other faith groups, but the sexual dynamics it addresses are true of all religious communities. It uniquely addresses an often unspoken dynamic, the relationship between the spiritual teacher and sexuality.
The first half is the strongest piece. The author categorizes three types of sexually inappropriate leaders – exploiters, errants, and exceptionalists — and how they entangle themselves with others. He then discusses how to create healthy teacher-student relationships. This is followed by one of the most helpful sections of the book on why some people are sexually attracted to their spiritual teachers. Much of this section may be shocking or disturbing to those who have never entertained the subject. But I would suggest giving it the benefit of the doubt. Those trained in psychology and pastoral theology, if they observe the way some respond to their spiritual teachers, recognize this dynamic, even if they never articulate it. Bringing it out in the open, at least in very controlled leadership settings, can be quite valuable. It helps protect the integrity of students, teachers, and the organizations to which they belong. Books like this may also help the spiritual leader become healthier spiritually.
The second half of the book addresses how to cultivate trust and reduce exploitation. He shows how codes, policies, and therapies are not enough, and how leaders must be able to experience healthy spiritual communities and support systems. The chapter on “When a Spiritual Teacher Transgresses: Responses of a Healthy Community,” is good in many respects, but should be balanced by other authors who understand the importance of the biblical call to holiness and corporate discipline.
From the Publisher
Sex and the Spiritual Teacher looks at the complex forces that tempt otherwise insightful, compassionate, and well-intentioned teachers to lose their way—and that tempt some of their students to lose their way as well. It analyzes why most of our current efforts to keep spiritual teachers from transgressing usually don’t (and in fact can’t) work—and, perhaps most importantly, it suggests a set of practices and structures that can build community, encourage healthy student-teacher relationships, increase trust and spiritual intimacy between teachers and their students, and help authentic spiritual teachers stay happily monogamous or celibate. Sex and the Spiritual Teacher is for anyone who is or might become part of a spiritual community: students, teachers, clergy, lay leaders, and even casual visitors. It’s a reader-friendly, no-nonsense guide to making spiritual life safer and fuller for all of us—one person, relationship, and community at a time.
About the Author
Scott Edelstein is a widely published writer, ghostwriter, collaborator, writing and publishing consultant, and literary agent. He has also been a book, magazine, and newspaper editor; a newspaper and magazine journalist; and a freelance writer for many businesses, nonprofits, and government organizations.
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