David Augsburger, Caring Enough to Confront: How to Understand and Express Your Deepest Feelings Toward Others. Regal Books, 1982. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary Augsburger coins the phrase “care-fronting” to help believers deal truthfully with one another through valuing both principle and relationship, owning anger, inviting change, giving
Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler, Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Second Edition. McGraw-Hill, 2011. Companion volume: Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary These are New York Times best-selling resources
Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life, One Conversation at a Time. Berkley Books, 2006. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary This Wall Street Journal best seller is based on Susan Scott’s internationally recognized consulting practice, Fierce Conversations. It represents over 13 years and 10,000
Sue Annis Hammond and Andrea Mayfield, The Thin Book of Naming Elephants: How to Surface Undiscussables for Greater Organizational Success. Thin Book Publishing, 2004. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary One of the authors of this text, Sue Hammond, is a widely recognized expert on Appreciative Inquiry (AI), author
Clinton McLemore and Les Parrott, Toxic Relationships and How to Change Them. Jossey-Bass, 2008. Reference in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary The authors begin with a theology of interpersonal relationships and a psychology of emotionally healthy interactions, suggesting an intersection of health and holiness. From there, they show how our
Les Parrott, High-Maintenance Relationships: How to Handle Impossible People. Tyndale House Publishers, 1997. Reference in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary This volume is part of the library of the American Association of Christian Counselors. Parrot discusses fifteen different difficult personalities that are often found in churches. These include: The Critic
Marshall Shelly, Well-Intentioned Dragons: Ministering to Problem People in the Church. Bethany House Publishers, 1994. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary Originally published in 1985, this was one of the first, and still one of the more helpful volumes on this subject. With plenty of instructive case studies and
G. Lloyd Rediger, Clergy Killers: Guidance for Pastors and Congregations Under Attack. Westminster / John Knox, 1997. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary While is is important to avoid some of the reactionary excess in this book (see Boers’ Never Call Them Jerks), this book is still valuable in
Wayne E. Oates, The Care of Troublesome People. Alban Institute, 1994. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary Oates is a highly respected psychiatrist. In this book, he discusses how to assess and interact with five different types of people who often create difficulty for church leaders – the circumferential
Robert D. Dale, Surviving Difficult Church Members. Abingdon Press, 1984. Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations LifeandLeadership.com Summary Dale identifies six types of individuals who often create unpleasant situations for church leaders – the chronically lonely, the insecure and cliquish, the passive-aggressive crazymakers, the openly hostile, the apathetic, and the hyper-traditionalists.
